The famous approach to relationships, according to which positive expectations give rise to positive results, can actually doom your marriage to failure. In a successful marriage, problems are not solved automatically. People fall into the trap, thinking that if they are physically attractive to each other at the beginning of the relationship, then the difficulties will resolve themselves. Couples need to more realistically evaluate their union and understand their responsibility to ensure that it does not break up.
An interesting study was conducted by the University of Florida. 77 couples answered many questions about their family happiness every six months for four years. Those participants who had the highest expectations of harmony in marriage showed a sharp drop in satisfaction with the relationship. Those who married lower expectations were more likely to report being happy.
2. Learn to fight back
Some researchers argue that quarrels are one of the healthiest things for relationships. Spouses who often argue are more satisfied with their marriage than those who completely avoid conflict. In fact, a conflict is a signal that something has gone wrong in the relationship and that attention needs to be paid to it. As soon as the spouses begin to understand this, they are growing closer in other areas - emotional, sexual, spiritual and intellectual.
Scientists do not advise husband and wife to endure, compromise, or simply adapt to each other. And in no case be locked in silence, which makes a false impression of peace.
However, arguing can be right and wrong. Throwing a bowl of soup out of the kitchen window would be wrong! If you are upset and aware of this, postpone the discussion for an hour or a day. Only by calming down and concentrating can you achieve something.
1. Change your wardrobe
Changes should be for the better, and not just an update; choose more casual and attractive clothing. It has long been proven that men love with their eyes, so give it a beautiful picture. Choose the most suitable clothes for your age and figure that would successfully emphasize all your advantages.
3. Be selfish
First of all, partners should think about themselves, otherwise the humble spouse will lose herself, and the dominant spouse will lose the person with whom he or she fell in love. If you care first of all about yourself, then your happiness ceases to depend on another person. An added bonus - you won’t feel guilty eating the last slice of pizza!
How to become a good egoist?
- Buy what you like without consulting your soulmate.
- Find yourself a hobby that she does not share.
- Spend more time with your personal friends and girlfriends.
4. Forget about sex - not for long
If the bedroom is the only opinion where the couple are happy and truly close, then there are big problems in their marriage. According to a study by the University of Iowa, the happiest couples are those with similar personality traits, even negative ones like stubbornness and irresponsibility. The similarity of characters provides 46% satisfaction with family life.
But even if you are not like ice and fire, a common hobby that you can do together is one of the key factors in a strong marriage. Joint sports and a similar sense of humor also contribute to this.
5. Listen to partner problems
The reaction "I have too" creates very great difficulties for communication in response to the message that the wife / husband had a terrible day at work. Another mistake common to men is to pay attention only to problems that need to be addressed. Often, women do not need advice, but simply so that you sit down and listen to her sympathetically. The best reaction: “I understand. I'm on your side. What should I do to make you feel better? ”- Best Life Online advises.
7. Change stereotypes of behavior
The Chinese define madness in this way: do the same thing and expect a different result. In order not to go crazy in marriage, scientists recommend identifying typical reactions and abandoning them. A couple cannot grow and develop if it does not try different approaches to solving a recurring problem. If you want more intimacy with your soulmate, on the contrary, give her more personal space. If you want more freedom, then force yourself to be around. Only a change in approach can guarantee a different result.
1. Work hard on the quality of your marriage (relationship)
This is the first condition - that is, you must strive to ensure that your partner is a soul mate, lover, best friend. Interact as much as possible and more often, working together on any problems that you have or already have, and pay great attention to relationships as they develop. Consider marriage as your other workplace where you must invest a lot of effort.
2. Engage love life hacks
Let's call them love-hacks. These are the little things that can make your marriage (relationship) happier. Of course, with love hacks, you also need to work together, and not unilaterally. Bring some spontaneous little things and nuances into your life together that will “stick you together”. Do good deeds towards each other and gently smooth out all conflict situations. This is especially true when both of you are very busy at work, and you have little time left for family, internal interaction.
2. To be attractive, be attractive
Of course, there are not many supermodels with a perfect figure among ordinary women. But every woman is attractive in her own way. Try to find your image, look after your appearance, try to always look good at home. Do not dress for people on the street, be attractive at home for your husband.
9. Become his No. 1 fan
According to one American writer, men control the world, and women control men. Men love praise, they need support. Show that you support your husband’s ideas, praise him for his achievements, and he will fall in love with you every day more and more. He is in your hands.
10. Develop healthy habits that enhance libido
Many get used to their lifestyle, and do not want to change anything, even if it is wrong. At the same time, some good habits significantly affect libido. For example, playing sports, a healthy diet, and the ability to deal with stress will help you not only maintain your health, but also get more pleasure from your c * ksa, which will certainly attract your partner.
15. Take the initiative in your own hands
Men do not understand hints and tips very well. If it’s the same with yours, and you can’t make it clear to him that it’s time to change something in a relationship, just invite him on a date and explain everything. Men also like it when they feel welcome. Instead of going to a family psychologist, it’s better to have a fun date with the crazy c * x in the finale. You will be surprised how he suddenly opens and speaks after that.
3. Adjust your expectations
If you are chronically disappointed in some part of your marriage, one of the really good ways to “cure” such doubts is to think: is it really important to satisfy some personal need exclusively through the sphere of family life? In some cases, the answer may be a loud yes. In other cases, the answer may be “perhaps” or “not quite”. Let's look at two examples: you like philosophical debate, but your partner doesn't, you like to play tennis, and your partner doesn't. Can you find a friend or colleague to meet these needs? The point is to step aside a little and think that you are a person, and you can somehow be realized in addition to marriage. Just cancel the increased requirements for your partner. Do not demand the impossible from him and do not break it for yourself.
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